Somebody teach me

How to care less.
I need to care less.

I'm just

sad. Outright, downright, utterly sad. And not only sad, but guilty. Guilty for being sad, guilty for a billion unimportant work reasons, guilty for a million other things I probably don't know of.
And I wished I would start this paragraph with something like 'the fact of the matter is' but the fact of the matter is that I don't know what the fact of the matter is. And I need to know.
I need to know what I have to do. I need to have the slightest idea of where I'm going. I need to feel like more than the big bag of shit I feel like right now.
I need to have someone to whom I can talk about this. I need someone to say 'hey, it's not that bad dude, it's not that bad.' The truth I used to think I had people in my life I could call at 1am to talk, but the truth is I don't.
I don't
Fuck, I don't.